And her petticoat!
My hair is brown, curly and has a mind of its own. When damp it will go frizzy and will not be tamed in any way. I was only really satisfied with a haircut when an afro hairdresser did it – and I really don’t have afro hair. My hair, in line with my overall genetic profile, is about as NW-European as it gets. (The only thing afro about me is probably my taste in music. I don’t really classify friends along ethnic lines – ask them yourself.) And apparently NW-European hair that is not straight or flowing and thick and luscious is an enormous challenge for cosmetics industries to make shampoo for.
Or is it?
Almost all store-bought shampoo has ‘SLS’ in it: Sodium Laures Sulfate. It creates nice foam and makes hair and skin go soft and so-called silky smooth. It also makes my hair give up after a few hours and leave my curls to their own devices so they’ll wilt and sag and disappear into hairbands etc. I mean, that SLS is not nice to my hair. And it is in everything. All the bottles in your local drugstore contain SLS. Seriously. And all it does is make you want to wash your hair again the next day. (A-ha!)
And so, just like with deodorant, I turned yet again to the internet.
There is a movement called ‘No poo’ which is not about any kind of phobia but rather about skipping shampoo as a whole. (Would ‘No Sham’ be better?) I didn’t try it, it was too far out for me. I looked further and found this:
And that, dear readership, is all a girl needs to keep her hair fresh and bouncy and free from limp-inducing chemicals she doesn’t need. In the top jar is baking soda. I scoop two tablespoons of it in the bottom jar and then get in the shower where I dissolve the powder and rinse the whole solution through my hair. That gets rid of the grease.
Then I rinse the big jar out carefully because next I pour in a splash of apple cider vinegar from the bottle. When combined, baking soda and vinegar make a merry exposition of bubbles and foam, see? So the jar needs to be clean first. The vinegar is also topped up with water and then rinsed through my hair too. That makes the hair softer to comb through and gives it a shine.
And that’s it. Granted, you feel a bit like you’re pouring laundry detergent over your head in stage one and salad dressing in stage two. But I make it up with nice soaps and afterwards my hair looks great. Well, as great as it gets for someone with limited time and patience for beauty routines, really. ‘Cause ain’t nobody got time for that.
Next up: great boobs! How to get them, how to keep them. (Yeah, you guessed it.)