And that’s when you realise

Time flies. It has been a little over two months since I started the Konmari exercise here in my home. It has also been a little over two months since I quit my job as a children’s theatre programmer (or ‘curator’ if you want the fancy title) because it wasn’t contributing to my journey up the mountain. As Neil Gaiman would put it and he gives a lot of thought to these things plus he is quite an intelligent man so I am inclined to believe him. I also believe that, to quote Tolkien, not all who wander are lost. Although the job ultimately wasn’t what I was made to do, doing it undoubtedly had its use for me.

The job was the first to go in the grand scheme of Konmari.

Two months down the line and I still feel like it’s the right decision. Even so, it has been tough for me to accept financial dependency. I have been raised in a generation of girls whose Dutch babyboomer generation of mothers insisted on girls making their own money. It has now become clear to me that if I am going to achieve that (again), I have to most definitely change tack. Until I do, I must accept this reality: my guy is paying for me. As he says about it: we’re in this together.

And then it feels like a big empty hole that is filling up fast.

When someone tells you that you have a few months of not working ahead of you, you probably go “WHEEEE!!!! I’M FREEE!!!” and quite rightly so. And then reality catches up and you spend much of that time simply arranging life and your immediately surrounding world in order to make it to the next day as smoothly as possible. I mean, I have two kids. They’re twins, they’re almost five, and they’re demanding that I spend time on their wellbeing. Quite rightly so.

And thank the gods for school times!

The bane of my existence.
The bane of my existence.

Every day (except Wednesdays, half days) I have from roughly 9 until 3 to make my own life as I want it. Some of that is spent on making sure that we don’t drown in filth and most notably sand from the sand box in our house. Some of that time is spent on making sure our bodies are nourished and clothed in reasonably clean garments. Hey, it helps. Some of it is spent on social obligations of sorts, although I am terribly bad at those and certainly not always in the mood. These include things like making sure that little E has a gift to present to her teacher on the last day of school, editing and printing pictures for L’s friends book, buying gifts for various birthdays, baking cakes for diverse occasions and calling my mum. I arrange the dry cleaning, I pick up medicines at the apothecary, I read the occasional newspaper. These things take time.

What is left is surprisingly little.

Moreover, what is left of this school year is surprisingly little, too!

About four weeks, that’s all that is left before school closes and the minions will be home full-time for six weeks. While the minions are home there is little else I can do except mind them. That means that if I want to complete that Konmari project around here, I need to get my ass into gear! I tackled a lot of the core stuff and I am still enjoying the fruits of those – like I can still easily access my wardrobe and I know my books and I love how organised my bathroom cupboard is – but I am nowhere near having a tidy house. If I am going to reach anything like that, it means upping the game to roughly a whole category per day.

I can do this.

I will do this.

I am going to do this. Now!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s